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    Re: Confessions

    Originally posted by Ophidia View Post
    All this talk of teleporters is scary.

    If you have to take me apart to get there, then I don't want to go.
    Obviously, you don't live 700+ miles away from your beloved.

    A teleporter would be AWESOME!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Originally posted by ChainLightning View Post
    Alright. Sorry about that. The phone uses a virtual keyboard that doesn't stay open very long, for me to be able to type all that much at once. Once it closes, then everytime I reopen it, it takes less than a second before it closes again. Leaving MAYBE a chance to get a letter typed before having to try and get the damn keyboard to show up again. "Anyway, that's not what I came to tell you about..." to quote Arlo Guthrie.


    Back before the market crashed, the 22-acre farm, was valued at about $365k. (We only own, actually, 10 of those 22 acres.) Directly behind this 22 acre farm is another 28 acre chunk of useless swamp that we co-own with my uncle (that owns the other 12 of this 22 acre piece). There's also a family owned gravel pit, or part of one, that is 10 acres and we've been trying to sell or otherwise unload that 10 acres for better than 10 years, now.

    Then the market crashed. Hard. Our house, and land it's on, dropped to a low value of just $215k. Property taxes came to roughly 4-5 thousand bucks a year and were the same for the gravel pit, though my uncle paid the taxes on the pit, for which we owe him half.

    Enter, the Reverse Mortgage.

    With the house valued so unbelievably low, yet the taxes still falling a year behind the value, and money being in short supply, in a household of no less than 3 adults and 2 kids, Ma looked into RMS, at first as a curiosity. Then as a plan. They came out and checked around the neighborhood, valued the house (sellable for) about $190k. For which, they'd give mom a RM for close to $160k, to pay off the mortgage she had and a few other lingering debts. (The reason the RM was that much lower is that the principle of the RM increases over time. There's a formula, I guess, for looking at one's age and the value of a property in order to estimate where the principle will peak at the time of death. Or something like that.) She took it. Freed up a boat load of her fixed income and was left with a line of credit - the remainder of the RM cash, after paying everything else off - that would cover property taxes and repairs, or whatever else.

    Then Alissa died. The entire cost of the funeral came out of that RM. So much so that the forum and a walmart distribution center came together in a HUGE way, to buy a headstone for that 23 year old girl, that lost her life to cancer. That was 2009.

    Since then, I'm reluctant to admit, I spent two years trying to salvage my marriage, and living in Iowa to do so. Leaving my mom to fend for herself up here, and handle her own finances for a change. (There's a pile o'drama that even includes my mom calling the police and my wife and me, regarding her finances, prior to my [now ex-]wife's suicide attempt and subsequent departure from anything and everything even remotely related to my mother.) In that time, she paid no property taxes; she went months without propane, hot water, heat, cooking, hot showers and even electricity for a while; she spent her money how she saw fit and gave little attention to what needed to be paid.

    Then my divorce.

    I had to try and pick up the pieces of my own life, and overcome my own suicidal intentions, as well as work to get my mothers finances back under control. Going several hundred dollars overdrawn, every single payday, after all, is not a good thing. But there's no money left to do repairs on the house. And nowhere near enough money to even attempt catching up on taxes.

    So, the RM folks intervened on the tax thing, and they paid the back taxes. Then paid them again. And again. And now, refuse to put her even more in the red than the $22k that she already is, with them. Even though the value of the house is going up. It's already back up to about $285k. However, because of her age, they can't refinance the RM since FHA will only allow about $195k for a mortgage and right now the principle, including the back taxes/overdrawn shit, is over $222k.

    We can avoid foreclosure, for the time being, if we somehow manage to create $22,000.00 out of thin air. We can sell the property but because of unaddressed damages, it's doubtful we'd be able to get anywhere *near* what the county says the home is worth tax-wise (that $285k), let alone market-wise. The RMS suggests a Short Sale (for those that don't know: A short sale is a sale of real estate in which the proceeds from selling the property fall short of the balance of debts [secured by liens against the property] and where the lien holders agree to release their lien on the real estate and accept less than the amount owed on the debt.), which would leave us broke and homeless, or a Deed-in-Lieu (A "deed in lieu of foreclosure" is where the homeowner voluntarily transfers title to the property to the lender in exchange for a release from the mortgage obligation.) which would leave us broke and homeless.

    The other option is to just talk to a realtor, put the home up for sale, and take the proceeds from that sale to pay off the RM and have a few thousand dollars left to buy a new place to live.

    Which is why I'm looking at towns no bigger than a couple thousand people, at most, where home values are in terms of tens of thousands, like somewhere between $25k and, if we're extremely lucky, more like $90k. The needs, that both my mom and I have, involve moving southward, staying away from the coasts and tourist traps, while remaining close to major hospitals with really good cardiac facilities, possessing extremely low tax rates, and in very close proximity to forest and water. Whilst also having municipal water, phone, electric, cable, hi-speed internet, and natural gas (her peak propane costs HERE hit a max of $1300 in a single month, while I was in Iowa).

    This confession also includes the fact that I can see, quite easily, that my mom's demands on where to move to are going to require massive compromises, settling for less than ideal, and possibly even having to cope with living in a home she vehemently despises and resents. Not to mention can't afford.
    Dude...I'm sorry. That sucks.

    I don't know what to say.

    I'm sorry, bro.
    "Don't ever miss a good opportunity to shut up." - Harvey Davis "Gramps"

    Comment


      Re: Confessions

      Originally posted by Ophidia View Post
      All this talk of teleporters is scary.

      If you have to take me apart to get there, then I don't want to go.
      Not all teleporters are matter transmission...

      Some involve dimension trickery or space folding. Of course, in the case of dimensional jaunting, let someone else test the theory. It's always best to let someone else find out first if the dimension that you're shortcutting through is something odd like say hell.
      life itself was a lightsaber in his hands; even in the face of treachery and death and hopes gone cold, he burned like a candle in the darkness. Like a star shining in the black eternity of space.

      Yoda: Dark Rendezvous

      "But those men who know anything at all about the Light also know that there is a fierceness to its power, like the bare sword of the law, or the white burning of the sun." Suddenly his voice sounded to Will very strong, and very Welsh. "At the very heart, that is. Other things, like humanity, and mercy, and charity, that most good men hold more precious than all else, they do not come first for the Light. Oh, sometimes they are there; often, indeed. But in the very long run the concern of you people is with the absolute good, ahead of all else..."

      John Rowlands, The Grey King by Susan Cooper

      "You come from the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve", said Aslan. "And that is both honour enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth; be content."

      Aslan, Prince Caspian by CS Lewis


      Comment


        Re: Confessions

        Originally posted by Ophidia View Post
        If you have to take me apart to get there, then I don't want to go.
        I know that song!




        "Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it." - Ayn Rand

        "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Marcus Aurelius

        "The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice." - Mark Twain

        "The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing." - Johnny Depp


        Comment


          Re: Confessions

          As per the above...


          I teleported home one night, with Ron and Sid and Meg,
          Ron stole Meggie's heart away, and I got Sidney's leg.




          "Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it." - Ayn Rand

          "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Marcus Aurelius

          "The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice." - Mark Twain

          "The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing." - Johnny Depp


          Comment


            I am disappointed that oz is not included. Surely once you leave the country, your debt doesn't follow you?
            ThorSon's milkshake brings all the PF girls to the yard - Volcaniclastic

            RIP

            I have never been across the way
            Seen the desert and the birds
            You cut your hair short
            Like a shush to an insult
            The world had been yelling
            Since the day you were born
            Revolting with anger
            While it smiled like it was cute
            That everything was shit.

            - J. Wylder

            Comment


              Re: Confessions

              Originally posted by Heka View Post
              I am disappointed that oz is not included. Surely once you leave the country, your debt doesn't follow you?
              Would love to see Chain here.

              Debt doesn't follow you here. I should know - mine in the US was completely ruined by my psychopathic mother.

              Comment


                Re: Confessions

                For what it's worth, Chain, if I had an extra $25K laying around I would give it to you with no strings attached, which is likely why I don't have an extra $25K laying around. Like most people in the U.S., we don't own much of what we have, just rent it from the government and banks -- miss a few payments and it's gone.

                I do have good advice about that drowning feeling that comes with having many things to do, and I hope it is helpful rather than annoying: break it down into smaller discrete tasks, order them logically, then just start at the top of the list and work through it one thing at a time. And don't be shy about asking for help, it can come from the most unexpected places. When people see the you are sincerely trying to get things done they usually don't mind lending a hand.

                One more thing, try not to overthink things; the whole "why did events lead me here" train of thought can be self-defeating. When I catch myself doing that, I refocus on where I am and how to get from here to where I want to be. Shoulda-woulda-coulda all live in the past. I wish peace and clarity for you in the midst of the turmoil.

                "No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical." -- Niels Bohr

                Comment


                  Re: Confessions

                  Originally posted by nbdy View Post
                  For what it's worth, Chain, if I had an extra $25K laying around I would give it to you with no strings attached, which is likely why I don't have an extra $25K laying around. Like most people in the U.S., we don't own much of what we have, just rent it from the government and banks -- miss a few payments and it's gone.

                  I do have good advice about that drowning feeling that comes with having many things to do, and I hope it is helpful rather than annoying: break it down into smaller discrete tasks, order them logically, then just start at the top of the list and work through it one thing at a time. And don't be shy about asking for help, it can come from the most unexpected places. When people see the you are sincerely trying to get things done they usually don't mind lending a hand.

                  One more thing, try not to overthink things; the whole "why did events lead me here" train of thought can be self-defeating. When I catch myself doing that, I refocus on where I am and how to get from here to where I want to be. Shoulda-woulda-coulda all live in the past. I wish peace and clarity for you in the midst of the turmoil.
                  Thank you so much!

                  I'm really trying to get my micromanaging skills rolling. Tiny little babysteps, and not a whole picture deal, is the only way I have ever actually navigated such stressful crap as this. It's just been really hard to focus on anything small, and get past the overwhelming feeling. Particularly with my recent sleep problems, getting something less than about 3 hours if I get any at all.

                  What I wound up doing, overnight, since I haven't slept, was working on a couple of lists in order to narrow down a single priority list. Once I got that, I went back over some websites like the FHA, USDA and the Treasury for phone numbers and information on assistance for seniors. Grants, guaranteed loans, stuff like that, and advisory kinda stuff, as well.

                  I've also got some contact info for both the states we're considering moving to, in terms of programs and or other assistance.

                  Slowly, I'm getting my groove back and pushing the daunting look out of my mind.

                  Plus, crying over losing the family farm is counterproductive.




                  "Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it." - Ayn Rand

                  "Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth." - Marcus Aurelius

                  "The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice." - Mark Twain

                  "The only gossip I'm interested in is things from the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra bursts, 11 injured'. That kind of thing." - Johnny Depp


                  Comment


                    Re: Confessions

                    Stay strong, Chain. And I agree with nbdy here.
                    "Fair means that everybody gets what they need. And the only way to get that is to make it happen yourself."



                    Since I adore cats, I might write something strange or unusual in my comment.Cats are awesome!!! ^_^

                    Comment


                      Re: Confessions

                      Originally posted by Torey View Post

                      Debt doesn't follow you here. I should know - mine in the US was completely ruined by my psychopathic mother.
                      How does it work then? Are they forced to write off the debt if you leave the country, is one even allowed to leave without paying?
                      Circe

                      Comment


                        Re: Confessions

                        Originally posted by Corvus View Post
                        How does it work then? Are they forced to write off the debt if you leave the country, is one even allowed to leave without paying?
                        I imagine it would still be here if you came back. But if your an expatriate another country isn't going to care about what you did here. More or less
                        We are what we are. Nothing more, nothing less. There is good and evil among every kind of people. It's the evil among us who rule now. -Anne Bishop, Daughter of the Blood

                        I wondered if he could ever understand that it was a blessing, not a sin, to be graced with more than one love.
                        It could be complicated; of course it could be complicated. And it opened one up to the possibility of more pain and loss.
                        Still, it was a blessing I would never relinquish. Love, genuine love, was always a cause for joy.
                        -Jacqueline Carey, Naamah's Curse

                        Service to your fellows is the root of peace.

                        Comment


                          Re: Confessions

                          Originally posted by Shahaku View Post
                          I imagine it would still be here if you came back. But if your an expatriate another country isn't going to care about what you did here. More or less
                          Yeah, but a lot of places won't let you move without money or the means to make it.
                          Wonderful Life: The Burgess Shale and the Nature of HistoryPagan Devotionals, because the wind and the rain is our Bible
                          sigpic

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                            Re: Confessions

                            Make sure the country you move to doesnt have debtor prisons. :-)

                            Comment


                              Re: Confessions

                              Originally posted by Corvus View Post
                              How does it work then? Are they forced to write off the debt if you leave the country, is one even allowed to leave without paying?
                              I don't have debt, just ruined credit. I do know that you can't renounce your US citizenship if you have substantial debt in the US without resolving it. But that's for substantial debt - I'm not sure if just a small amount of debt makes much difference. They didn't do a credit check when I left the US, but I would think that if you owed large sums you could potentially have your passport seized if you were considered a flight risk. That's just me speculating, though.

                              But as for whether the credit history from the US is written off - no, it still stands, but only in the US. When you moved to Australia, you're essentially a brand new person here and you get a brand new (empty) credit history.

                              Comment


                                Re: Confessions

                                Sometimes I think about starting a thread here about my issues with the whole "burning times" thing, and then I think about it and decide its probably not worth my time and effort to discuss when I have so much work to do.
                                hey look, I have a book! And look I have a second one too!

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