Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

[Poshi]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Up until point 9 and 10 it was fine. My husband and I are both fairly traditional when it comes to roles in the house so that's probably why the first 8 points (if you delete the "God's" and "His" and "He's" out of there) made some form of sense.

But 9... girls are so selfish? Really? If that were the case, why would I have put my own life, sanity, and career progression on hold for the past 3 years and taken a horrid job (which pays the bills) while supporting my husband's college education, volunteering, and career aspirations?

And 10... "Since marriage is so sacred to God, you know the enemy is going to be constantly trying to attack, which means our husband is constantly going to be battling spiritual warfare. " ........ What? Paranoia much?

I agree that that's a very paranoid view on things. I feel like by saying that she is setting her relationship up for difficulty. She expects it.

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Agreed. I have the opinion that there are times when some people are fated to meet at a certain time, in a certain place of their lives. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a romantic meeting, but I believe it happens. I'm sure that thought has crossed the minds of other people as well.

Oh certainly. I believe that two people can be meant to be in each other's lives, and believe that people often are! But, I feel that she is using God as a filter in her marriage, if that makes sense. Instead of it being between herself and her husband (although it's perfectly acceptable to share their beliefs and be a spiritual couple, that's amazing), I interpreted her as acting like all her actions as well as his need to be aimed at God, and then aimed through him at each other. If that works for them, I guess that's awesome! I just need my relationship to seem more... Personal? than that.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

I've read some things recently that say husbands are always tempted to stray, and it's the wife's job to provide a home he wants to be in, etc. This is all circling the drain of victim-blaming ---- Oh, I gained 5 pounds so he cheated, it was my fault. Oh, I forgot to buy his favorite dessert so he went to the diner and flirted with the waitress, my fault.

SO many times, the one (and it's not always the woman by any means) who REALLY tries, who really takes an interest in the other's likes, who DOES keep their favorite foods around, who DOES a million little things, only sets themselves up for abuse. It's NEVER good enough, etc.

Once in a while you find a couple (I know a few) who truly support each other, no emotional undermining. It is a joy to behold!!!

[Poshi]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

I'm glad you appreciate my effort ^_^. I'd go a step further and say that she probably truly does think that their relationship exists through god.

As I said, I'm avoiding that topic for reasons...

But yeah, equality is best. And her worldview is pretty skewed towards a really particular image of what is okay. I wouldn't want her relationship. Ever.

I really admire a lot of her attitude, she obviously is entirely committed to her relationship and is determined to make it work forever, which is amazing. She wants them to be a strong couple, and be connected to their spirituality in ever aspect of their lives. She wants them to take good care of each other and be there for each other, and she is willing to sacrifice for that. That takes a strong person. And while I admire that the two of them want to exist with their beliefs in their lives.
Just on the bright side, which I believe is important to point out!

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I've read some things recently that say husbands are always tempted to stray, and it's the wife's job to provide a home he wants to be in, etc. This is all circling the drain of victim-blaming ---- Oh, I gained 5 pounds so he cheated, it was my fault. Oh, I forgot to buy his favorite dessert so he went to the diner and flirted with the waitress, my fault.

SO many times, the one (and it's not always the woman by any means) who REALLY tries, who really takes an interest in the other's likes, who DOES keep their favorite foods around, who DOES a million little things, only sets themselves up for abuse. It's NEVER good enough, etc.

Once in a while you find a couple (I know a few) who truly support each other, no emotional undermining. It is a joy to behold!!!

I agree completely. There needs to be balance of giving and taking in a relationship in order to reach that healthy balance where both people are allowed to make mistakes and have their triumphs as well. It's about making sure both people get what they need and are compatible. And when two people find that, they are very, very lucky.

[Malflick]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

I've read some things recently that say husbands are always tempted to stray, and it's the wife's job to provide a home he wants to be in, etc. This is all circling the drain of victim-blaming ---- Oh, I gained 5 pounds so he cheated, it was my fault. Oh, I forgot to buy his favorite dessert so he went to the diner and flirted with the waitress, my fault.

SO many times, the one (and it's not always the woman by any means) who REALLY tries, who really takes an interest in the other's likes, who DOES keep their favorite foods around, who DOES a million little things, only sets themselves up for abuse. It's NEVER good enough, etc.

Once in a while you find a couple (I know a few) who truly support each other, no emotional undermining. It is a joy to behold!!!

Yup. And that's the squicky thing about this. I didn't connect it to victim blaming, but I utterly agree with that statement. It is connected, and it does lay the burden on the wife when it shouldn't be on any one member of a relationship. Both people should support each other. *sigh* alas I think she would think it was her fault.

I'm sorry being strong has ruined relationships . Its a very admirable, and at least to me attractive, trait.

I am of the opinion the way we socialize genders and gender roles is messed up, but that's a different discussion.

[Poshi]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Just one thing......is there a corresponding piece, "Being A Godly Husband"?

I think she might have said at one point in the article that she planned on putting up what her husband shared, and I actually plan on looking back on that blog to see if I can find it soon! Because I feel like a majority of the issues I have with the article (besides the submission, that I just don't personally agree with ever) I would be able to somewhat overlook if I saw that he is also as dedicated to taking care of her as he sees is right. Different relationships work different ways and not all will work how I would want them to work, but if it works for them and they are happy both looking out for and loving each other good for them.

[Willow]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Oh certainly. I believe that two people can be meant to be in each other's lives, and believe that people often are! But, I feel that she is using God as a filter in her marriage, if that makes sense. Instead of it being between herself and her husband (although it's perfectly acceptable to share their beliefs and be a spiritual couple, that's amazing), I interpreted her as acting like all her actions as well as his need to be aimed at God, and then aimed through him at each other. If that works for them, I guess that's awesome! I just need my relationship to seem more... Personal? than that.

Yeah I hear ya. For some people, it's only too easy to take those extra few steps across that line.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

In my life - I tell people up front I am a steel beam wrapped in velvet. They don't believe me. Not my fault.

So now I've been thinking about 2 couples I know IRL, both are in their 70's, married at 18, and are just fabulous. Like Ma and Pa Ingalls or John and Olivia Walton. Neither couple do things quite the way I would want to, but their choices work for them. There is no question of disloyalty.

Maybe getting married young is helpful. It is, after all, the way it was done until very recently.

[Poshi]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

In my life - I tell people up front I am a steel beam wrapped in velvet. They don't believe me. Not my fault.

So now I've been thinking about 2 couples I know IRL, both are in their 70's, married at 18, and are just fabulous. Like Ma and Pa Ingalls or John and Olivia Walton. Neither couple do things quite the way I would want to, but their choices work for them. There is no question of disloyalty.

Maybe getting married young is helpful. It is, after all, the way it was done until very recently.

I believe that relationships are very individual, and they work out differently for different people. And there's nothing wrong with being a strong person, and you shouldn't sacrifice that for anything. Do what works for you.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

I believe that relationships are very individual, and they work out differently for different people. And there's nothing wrong with being a strong person, and you shouldn't sacrifice that for anything. Do what works for you.

I have been, thanks! It's been a year now since Mr. Gigolo/Con Man LOL I wonder what the next tide will bring in.

[Malflick]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

I went through the whole blog- there wasn't a follow up from the man's end.

However, there is another post I found which um... clarifies some of her thoughts :/ .... Ugh....

http://www.butlerpartyof2.com/2013/03/lies-women-believe-about-marriage.html

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

I went through the whole blog- there wasn't a follow up from the man's end.

However, there is another post I found which um... clarifies some of her thoughts :/ .... Ugh....

http://www.butlerpartyof2.com/2013/0...-marriage.html

Oy Vey!! LOL The only man who ever protected me and provided for me was my father, doing his job as a father, till I grew up and moved out. Then I was an adult......SO I dunno....maybe if a man bought me my dream house and paid all the bills and all that stuff, I wouldn't mind packing his lunch.(Sarcasm)

Hell I'd pack lunch just because I care about someone anyway! LOL You do those things out of LOVE, not as a payment.You do little things that mean something to the other person.

[Monster]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Where all of you seem to be messing up is this misguided notion of "equality." Men and women aren't equal. Never have been. Never were meant to be. There can only be one person in charge of any relationship. And if the man doesn't take, and retain control, then the relationship is doomed. Because once a woman feels like *she* is in control, she no longer respects you and starts running you down.

If her religious teachings get her where she is in her marriage, then great. Either way I believe she has a firm grasp on what a woman's role should be.

[Willow]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Where all of you seem to be messing up is this misguided notion of "equality." Men and women aren't equal. Never have been. Never were meant to be. There can only be one person in charge of any relationship. And if the man doesn't take, and retain control, then the relationship is doomed. Because once a woman feels like *she* is in control, she no longer respects you and starts running you down.

If her religious teachings get her where she is in her marriage, then great. Either way I believe she has a firm grasp on what a woman's role should be.

I just had an image rerun of the Criminal Minds episode where that crazy guy driving the truck started running down all these women in the road.

[Poshi]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Wow, Malflick, thanks for finding that for us! It was definitely a clarification. The part that really stood out to me, and is my main problem with what she's saying is "The ultimate purpose of marriage is not to make us happy, but to glorify God". I just so passionately disagree with that.

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Oy Vey!! LOL The only man who ever protected me and provided for me was my father, doing his job as a father, till I grew up and moved out. Then I was an adult......SO I dunno....maybe if a man bought me my dream house and paid all the bills and all that stuff, I wouldn't mind packing his lunch.(Sarcasm)

Hell I'd pack lunch just because I care about someone anyway! LOL You do those things out of LOVE, not as a payment.You do little things that mean something to the other person.

Exactly. I love to make sandwiches. I make a damn good sandwich. But not because God says I should make sandwiches because it's my duty, or because I owe anyone anyhting, but because I care about someone and want to make a sandwich for them.

[Hawkfeathers]

Re: Being a Godly Wife. Your thoughts?

Where all of you seem to be messing up is this misguided notion of "equality." Men and women aren't equal. Never have been. Never were meant to be. There can only be one person in charge of any relationship. And if the man doesn't take, and retain control, then the relationship is doomed. Because once a woman feels like *she* is in control, she no longer respects you and starts running you down.

If her religious teachings get her where she is in her marriage, then great. Either way I believe she has a firm grasp on what a woman's role should be.

Teamwork
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Teamwork is "work done by several associates with each doing a part but all subordinating personal prominence to the efficiency of the whole" .[1]
In a business setting accounting techniques may be used to provide financial measures of the benefits of teamwork which are useful for justifying the concept.[2] Teamwork is increasingly advocated by health care policy makers as a means of assuring quality and safety in the delivery of services; a committee of the Institute of Medicine recommended in 2000 that patient safety programs "establish interdisciplinary team training programs for providers that incorporate proven methods of team training, such as simulation."[3]
In health care, a systematic concept analysis in 2008 concluded teamwork to be "a dynamic process involving two or more healthcare professionals with complementary backgrounds and skills, sharing common health goals and exercising concerted physical and mental effort in assessing, planning, or evaluating patient care."[4] Elsewhere teamwork is defined as "those behaviours that facilitate effective team member interaction," with "team" defined as "a group of two or more individuals who perform some work related task, interact with one another dynamically, have a shared past, have a foreseeable shared future, and share a common fate."[5] Another definition for teamwork proposed in 2008 is "the interdependent components of performance required to effectively coordinate the performance of multiple individuals"; as such, teamwork is "nested within" the broader concept of team performance which also includes individual-level taskwork.[6] A 2012 review of the academic literature found that the word "teamwork" has been used "as a catchall to refer to a number of behavioral processes and emergent states."[7]


Oh, and......


Troll (Internet)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This article is about internet slang. For other uses, see Troll (disambiguation).

In Internet slang, a troll (/ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by trying to start arguments and upset people.[1]. They may do this by posting deliberately inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[4]
While this sense of the word troll and its associated verb trolling are associated with Internet discourse, media attention in recent years has made such labels subjective, with trolling also used to describe intentionally provocative actions and harassment outside of an online context. For example, mass media has used troll to describe "a person who defaces Internet tribute sites with the aim of causing grief to families."[5][6]